Taking Back My Night

Last week was Take Back the Night at my school. It's a night to recognize how often violence happens, and try to change it.

I waited to write this post because I thought about what I wanted to say. I could've written statistics... But what is available is only the women who have reported, or guesses. That's the best one could do to specify the magnitude of this problem.

To put it into perspective more clearly on a personal level, of all my friends from home that I spoke to on this subject I have more friends from home who have been sexually attacked in some way. Out of the 10 to 15 girls who have a story, one has reported their incident.

I, myself, have a story to tell. And I, myself, never reported him. It took me a long time to get to where I am, but at least now I can speak up. I can take back my night.

He was my best friend. We were a month a part in age, being 12 at the time. I fully trusted him. He used to hit on me a lot, but I shrugged it off. One summer night he invited me over because he said he wanted to talk. This wasn't out of the ordinary, and there was no signs of what he was going to do... He unzipped his pants and motioned for me to give him oral. I tried to explain to him that this was a ridiculous request, that I didn't want to. He grabbed my hair, I opened my mouth to scream--and he pushed me down. I struggled and couldn't breath. I panicked so I did the only thing I could think of...

I bit him.

He threw me down and ran out of the room. For my male readers, don't worry he didn't even bleed (thank goodness ew). It took me three seconds to realize that I should get out of there. He called out to me from him window and flipped me off. I didn't see or talk to him till we went back to school, where the rumors started. I went from being a cheerleader to having two friends total throughout the rest of middle school. He tried to push me down to shut me up. For a while, it worked.

Highschool came and I joined clubs and became popular. He dropped out. What he did shaped my beliefs. And you know what, I'm okay. I have a good life. And though sometimes I still pull away when people touch me when I'm not expecting it, I love hugs. I'm living life and he will never hold me down like he did that night.

If you've been through any type of abuse, I encourage you to talk to someone you trust. My thoughts were so jumbled and I honestly didn't feel better till I did so. Everyone has their way of dealing with things, you must find yours.

And to those who have not experienced it, be aware. Watch out for potentially dangerous situations.

Till next time, be aware.

Party Etiquette

With freedom comes responsibility. Though this sentence was meant for a higher purpose, I believe that it should be applied to every aspect of life, including parties. Some things to keep in mind:

1. I recommend having an agreement with a friend to watch out for each other. This agreement should be made before the first sip of alcohol and should address:
       -How much you plan to drink.
       -To make sure that both parties get home safe.
       -What should be done if something goes wrong.
       -Specifications for who's acceptable to hook up with. (Let's be honest everyone looks better with each sip)

2. If you're female I recommend going to the bathroom for a buddy for multiple reasons:

       -Drunk people don't knock usually. Someone should watch the door.
       -Rape is very likely to happen under the influence. And in a bathroom you could be vulnerable.

3. Before hooking up with someone, it's better to find one mutual friend or acquaintance between you two, to ensure your potential one night stand isn't a bat case.

4. Learning your limit is key. There is only a certain amount of times your friends will allow you to puke on them.

5. And finally, don't pass out with your shoes on.

                                                 (photo taken from kryptonflo.blogspot.com)

You have been warned!

Imperfections

The past couple of days I've thought a lot about character. About what it means it be unhappy with who you are or what you've done. Because sometimes I am unhappy with who I am.

I don't like that I cannot seem to stand up and be that person everyone looks to for leadership. I don't like feeling that I am trying my hardest at something, and I'm still not doing well.

I'm the type of person who cares so much about everything and everyone that when something I'm responsible for is not perfect I'm crushed.

These feelings can be quite common for students. In new environments it's hard to adjust sometimes. Now that I'm adjusting, I'm trying to find my place in society-- and figure out how who I am will affect what others think of me.

It's hard to advance in a crowd when others feel you aren't doing well and you take it to heart. Most of the time criticism is meant to help, not hinder. As a person I know that, but it's hard to be the little engine that could sometimes.

So who am I? I'm a lover, a friendly and caring person, a writer, a talker, a performer, and a giver. I am one person fighting to do her best.

Who am I not? A person willing to yell in order for you to hear me.

This is an issue when you expect to be heard. I encourage my readers to take some time to think of who you are, and what that means for you to be successful in all that you do. Because I'm realizing that there's a lot about myself that I need to work on to be taken seriously. We all do. Life is a climb and everyone should strive to get to the top of your personal mountain. What I'm feeling doesn't feel good, but it's necessary for me to realize these things in order to change. I will reach for my summit the best that I can. I hope you all do the same.

(courtesy of 1funny.com)

Till next time...

The Greek Connection

Up until this point I was hesitant to write about Greek Life because it's a sensitive subject for me. It means so much to me but it has such a bad reputation. I would like my readers to know, don't always believe what you hear.

Which brings me to the topic of the night: The Greek connection, one of the many pros to Greek Life. 

The other night I was surfing Youtube when I stumbled across Ahmir, a musical group with truly outstanding vocals and harmony. While watching one of their videos, I realized one of the men was wearing a Phi Beta Sigma shirt. From that point I was determined to take a closer look. I fell in love with their music and bought some of it off iTunes. 


Due to the overwhelming volume of content on Youtube, tremendous talent can often fall through the cracks. Being relatable is key, and to me, the Greek Life shirt served as a link between the performers and myself. This common ground (in addition to their magnificent voices) inspired me to dive deeper into their catalogue, and learn more about them both as artists and as human beings. That's how a lot of things go-- Job applications, meeting people... anywhere and everywhere people like to connect. It's nice to know that if my car breaks down in Alabama I could call the closest chapter and have a place to stay. Or to know that when I graduate, there will be alum who see that I participated actively in my chapter and consider me for a position. It makes me so thrilled when I walk across the quad I am greeted with happy faces that wear the Greek alphabet with pride. These connections last for life and I wouldn't exchange them for anything. I mean, Elvis can't be wrong, can he?

(Picture taken from elvisinfonet.com)

Just something to consider-- till next time,

Sister Sampa